Word: Breaking
Definition: destroy; make whole into pieces
Synonyms: annihilate, batter, burst, bust, bust up, crack, crash, crush, damage, demolish, disintegrate, divide, eradicate, finish off, fracture, fragment, make hash of, make mincemeat of, part, pull to pieces, rend, separate, sever, shatter, shiver, smash, snap, splinter, split, tear,

I feel like I’m at that point, my breaking point, but every time I think I’ll do it, something pulls me out and back on my feet. Not that I don’t appreciate the help, but sometimes you just need to break. It’s been something that’s on my mind for some time and honestly (as depressing as it sounds) I want to feel it, with all its ugliness.

naked woman on hands and knees with skeleton wings on back
breaking point

I suppose it could be because of my lack of ability to draw or complete a graphic project. I did a few paintings over the summer. Yet, with the universe against me (thanks to my job really), there is little room to be creative outside the work place. When I get home, all I want to do is draw or complete a painting (or something along those lines). However I’m stuck sitting there watching Tv because I’m too tired. To be able to actually be creative everyday and draw, even if you think you have no ideas, is better than watching mindless Tv (at least, to me it is).

Maybe it’s really just me and my depression. Or it could be that I draw and no one really gets to appreciate my artwork? At least in school I was able to get a grade for something I did, or my classmates got to see what I did, but now, no one see’s my collection. Alright that’s a bit of a lie, I post sketches on facebook, but I don’t get the same kind of reaction as I use to in school. I need an admirer, someone who can assure me that they will see every image I publish on here or facebook, or wherever. Just having some kind of audience would be a huge satisfaction that I’m succeeding with my art.

When it comes down to it all, I just need a job in my field where I can illustrate day in and day out with the minor distraction here and there. *Crosses Fingers* Come on, big money!

Hope you enjoyed my first “bigger” sketch (in a long time).

The Owl Palette


2 thoughts on “Breaking

  1. I may be a silent admirer, but I do see and love (and sometimes show off) every single piece of art that you post online. It’s a matter of importance for me, because I feel like I’m missing out on who you are when I haven’t seen your art. Do you remember when I went through your portfolios? As much as I loved that, I absolutely hated it – because I found it painful to see years of work that I had simply missed.

    I do wish though, that you could have some better quality scans on your blog. These don’t do them justice.


    1. Thank you so much Roxy! I really needed to hear that. I’m so sorry that you missed out so much, I hadn’t meant to keep you in the dark about my art those years.

      I’ll see what I can about the quality. Usually if it’s a sketch I don’t feel like it needs to be in the best of conditions. However, I do like to please, as you know- so very well.


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